Thoughts On… Winning and Losing

It was a normal Saturday night at my brother’s house. My niece’s birthday party just wrapped up and us adults were enjoying a beverage or three… then it all changed with a horrific cry for help.

Immediately I could tell it was my 4 year-old son. He has a distinct call. I rushed up to see what the matter was…

Did he break his arm..

Did he fall down the steps..

When I reached him, to my surprise based off both the pitch and volume of yell he alerted, he seemed fine physically.

“What’s the matter, son!?”

“I.. (cry sound) I.. (cry sound) I lost the (weird burp) hot wheels race.”

I made a mental note… “have conversation on winning and losing” … then returned to my beverage.

…

Like most things/topics, winning and losing lies on a spectrum. On one end is “WIN AT ALL COSTS. IF YOU LOSE, YOU’RE SLEEPING OUTSIDE TONIGHT” and the other is “as long as you had fun, honey, is all that matters. Let’s go get some ice cream.” I tend to find myself sitting in the middle of that spectrum.

For my wife and I, we want our kid’s focus to be on simply being the best they can be. We want them to always be striving to get better. When it’s time to compete against others, we want them to give their best effort and be a great teammate.

If they win… great! … now, keep getting better.

If they lose… that’s ok! … now, keep getting better.

Working to be the best you can be, regardless of outcome, is the standard. Not wins/losses. The wins will come if they are consistently working to get better.

…

My son and I had that conversation later that night. After a couple hours of hot wheels practice – we worked specifically on our start off the line and drifting corners – we ended the night with our new mantra… “Rosier’s do our best.”